KNOW MORE ABOUT VICTOR'S TRAINING
inside of one of Victor Gray’s Training programs and
examine some of the concepts discussed in his
Addressing Conflict With No Fear ™ program.
someone pushes you figuratively, what do you do? Our
natural instinct or reaction is to push back. In the
workplace, the same thing can happen—that is using
inappropriate language, behavior or non-productive
displays of power or force. I train leaders to do
what comes “unnaturally.” That is, not to be a
victim of our own natural instincts or reactions.
According to the award-winning research of Dr.
Kenneth Thomas, when in a conflict, we have the
choice of five basic conflict-handling options .
Each conflict position will have an impact upon the
outcome of the conflict situation, whether positive
or negative. Here are the options for resolving
- The leader takes a firm stand and is unwilling to
accept any other options. I win and you lose because
I care only about what I want.
The leader accepts the decision, and cautiously
evades conflict. Generally, this is an I lose/you
lose situation because I care neither about what you
or I want. This approach can still be used to your
and the organization’s advantage by responding in
the following manner. When you are tempted to
respond in an unconstructive manner, call a cooling
off period or cease-fire. Plan you approach over
night, come back the next day with a plan to move
- The smart leader knows when to give in to others.
This I lose, you win approach means I care more
about your needs than my own needs. However, a wise
“politician” can leverage a return favor in the
- The leader is able to split the difference by
participating in a process of give and take by
winning something and losing something. This
constructive approach represents an I win/lose and
you win/lose stance. The loss occurs because my
colleague and I do not get everything I/we want.
- The leader seeks consensus or a win-win solution
for both parties by attempting to gain insight into
the ideas or opinions of others. This functional
approach requires time, interpersonal skills by both
parties and upper management support to be
Remember, despite how the other person chooses to
respond, you have a choice in how YOU respond.
Therefore, choose the best approach for each
conflict situation you face.
Conflict uncovers where we disagree. When in a
conflict, we take a position. A wise leader will
pick the best approach for the situation and not do
what comes naturally—or let the natural reaction